I Was Born Into This Culture

Tia Vang

Map of Laos

My mom was actually pregnant with me when we came here so I was born here, 6 months after we came. My parents are from Laos and then immigrated to Thailand, and stayed in refugee camps there before coming to Minnesota. So I’ve basically been born and raised in St.Paul. This was the first place that we’ve been to and we just haven’t moved since. My grandma and my parents were sponsored, through a church organization and so they kind of helped us get settled and of course I don’t remember a whole lot about my childhood in those days and things like that cause I was still really really young, what I remembered was that we, y’know were able to receive public housing, live at the McDonough homes in St.Paul which was I think at that time heavily populated by other Hmong refugees I imagine. And we lived there for a short time and we just moved to a different area when I was about 5 years old, and I think, I didn’t attend preschool or anything and so, I didn’t start school till I was in kindergarten. And I think that was my first really significant exposure to other cultures. I’m the 5th child of 9 kids, and so, I stayed within family, so we just stayed within family, cousins, my siblings and such and like I said the neighborhood I lived in was-, the majority were hmong as well. So it’s just a lot of... Hmong peers and family and friends around me.

"I Thrived There"

I attended, an elementary, St. Anthony, in St. Paul and I was the only sibling that was attending that school, all the other siblings were at a different school [sigh] and so, even though I’ve, lived in- the United States and St. Paul for 5 years before I started school, I think I was never really, exposed to other cultures and so that was kind of a huge culture shock for me. I remember,getting kind of lost in the school, I was a a very very shy kid and so I didn't know how to ask for help. I had to navigate the school by myself and it was a pretty big school, it was a pretty big elementary school. I remembered, I think like the first week I lost my name tag, and I cried, but I didn't know how to tell my teacher that [Laughs]. So she didn't know, she didn't have a clue, why I was crying and I was really really shy so I didn't talk very much either. I think I was only in that school for maybe a month, if even, before my dad transferred me into a different school with my other siblings and so that experience was a lot better. 

 Tia Vang at the McDonough house. She is the second girl from the left.

So I transferred into a school called Battlecreek Elementary, and I was still really shy, very quiet. It wasn't that I didn’t even  know english cause I was able to pick up some english, I think from my siblings, who were older. In our house we spoke mainly Hmong, my parents, my mom doesn't speak any fluent english, at all, and my dad spoke a little bit but in the house, it was always Hmong and so… I just- I don't know if I just wasn't comfortable with talking and, ya know, i'm sure, thinking back now I understand a little more why I might’ve been so quiet but I think the culture’s just so different, the culture of the school is very structured, vs in my house where, there wasn't as much structure and some of the daily things that we did was just different than, y’know, the school environment. I was in  kindergarten for a whole year and then I went to first grade, so I was in first grade for a few months and I wasn't talking so they held me back and put me in a grade called TESL 1. I don’t remember what that stood for but that was basically for kids who spoke english as a second language. It was like a whole other classroom, it wasn't just like a supplement to first grade where they pulled out second language speakers to practice english, it was a whole other classroom. So they put me in this other classroom and I was there for the rest of the year with other hmong peers and I just, I thrived there. I was talking a lot, if anything I was, y’know one of the- probably more naughty kids, and so that was a really good experience for me. I got to be around a lot of peers that I was very familiar with as far as the culture, language. And finished off the year in TESL and started first grade again the following year. I was behind a year but the second year that I attended first grade was a lot smoother. Then we just stayed at that school for 6 years, after 6th grade, we moved onto middle school.

Tia at a friends birthday party. 

My dad was struggling to take care of, I think at that point we had 7 children. Back in Laos and Thailand, he had gone to school, he was one of the few, he was like one of two of the children in his family that attended school and studied nursing, so he was a nurse when he was back in Thailand. But he was unable to find any employment when we came here to the United States. My mom just wasn't fluent in english, [she] hadn't gotten any education so she stayed home to take care of us for the first few years while my dad tried to attend school to further his education and find a job. But that didn't work out for him so then he ended up just staying at home as well, and we were supported by public financial assistance. We were a poor family growing up but I don't remember that affecting us a whole lot. My parents were able to make the small amount of things that we had stretch and when you’re on public assistance they do provide a lot of support. We were able to get free lunch, participate in school activities like band or sports for free. So that was really helpful.

"My brother was involved in gangs, my cousins were involved in Gangs"

But my parents I think struggled a lot, they struggled to parent. My older siblings got into some pretty troubling situations and crowds. I wish I could speak to their experience but I can only speak to what i’ve observed about them. I think their experience was probably different than mine and more hard because they had already experienced life before the United States. They had to do the whole trying to acculturate to a new culture, that was a lot more difficult for them. Where as I was born into this culture and was able to just adapt from birth. So I guess you could say my brother was involved in gangs, my cousins were involved in gangs. I remember there being a lot of shootings, fights, thefts and things like that. Which at the time just felt really normal to me. I wasn’t afraid I didn’t feel I missed out on anything necessarily as a child. Still had a lot of friends around and we just made the best of our resources. 
When I did start entering junior high I started being a bit more influenced by my siblings, and got into stealing and skipping school. These were the things that seemed like super cool to us. It wasn’t getting the good grades, or participating in after school activities it was ya know how tough we were, how we could get away with stealing and fighting and things like that. I think I started stealing things in second grade or fourth grade. I remember this story [laughs], I was in fourth grade and me and my sisters went to the store with my dad. We were at Target and we had this elaborate plan to steal clothing and shoes. It was in the middle of summer when we went to target with a huge jacket and, my dad was sorta doing his own thing and were doing our own thing. We were able steal some shoes which we stuck in the sleeves of our oversized jacket and some clothing and walked out the door with that. And we got away with it! I think I just continued that behavior until junior high and I got caught stealing at target. I was able to take- what did we call it at that time? CD player? I took it to the dressing rooms, And some undercover staff had seen me, and I knew I was being followed. I kinda stopped at that point. I supposedly wasn’t allowed to go back into target but went back the following week cuz I was like "how are they going to enforce this?". 

"Gave me a different purpose"

Somewhere along the way, I got involved in a church ministry and started attending a christian baptist church. Through that ministry, started learning about morals and right from wrong and I think that helped start moving me away from, some of the risky behaviors that I was doing. I also became involved in a community agency called Hmong American Partnership, which is still running today, but we were like the very first - we were the first participants. It was a traditional Hmung dance group and so that also helped to distract me from some of the behaviors I was engaged in. I think it gave me a different purpose and a different focus. That was a really great experience for me. I participated in that in junior high through high school, and we did performances, competitions, we danced at one of the TimberWolves half time games, things like that. I think for a shy girl, that for some reason being on stage really helped to offset the shyness, or gave me a space to express some of my interests. 

Tia Vang with her dance group with the Hmong American Partnership.

I had made some friends and we were a really great group of kids, we just were kinda bored, didn’t have anything to do with our time. My friends had started a small gang, it really wasn’t a gang, but it was just something to pass the time. We just looked cool and sounded cool. I didn’t want to be apart of that anymore because I was participating in that even before I had gotten into high school, and I was kinda over it cuz of the programs I was involved with. So I dropped out of it and we were still friends, but I was able to not engage in those activities, and focus on school. It was interesting because with our generation, those things were so normal, to skip class,steal and get into fights. It wasn’t a daily or even a weekly thing in our lives but it happened a few times. I just started moving away from that. I think part of that was maturity, part of that was learning, to cope with some of the things I struggled with, I think assimilating to the american culture and being the first generation here in the united states [was harder for me, but] my younger sisters generation was completely different. They were a lot more acculturated and into what the other american kids were doing.

Foot Notes:
1- Teaching English as a second language (TESL) refers to teaching English to students whose first language is not English, usually offered in a region where English is the dominant language and natural English language immersion situations are apt to be plentiful.

Photo Credits:
Tia Vang

Story Facilitators:

Jessica Immerman, Michael Thao, Nezmira Ahmetovic,